These days...

Life has me whirling around like a tumultuous hurricane...never really knowing where it's going or when it's getting there. I am getting so burnt out with this emotional rollercoaster (otherwise known as the military). Anyone who knows me, knows I am a planner...I have to plan in advance what day I am going to go grocery shopping and I have a whole plan written out for me as to which stores I hit in which order and all their respective lists to go with....I am quite anal! So no matter how much I try and convince myself that I am getting used to being told one thing and then being told the total opposite thing 2 days later.... I'M NOT!!! And every time, just like the last....my hopes and dreams for the future are crushed and I have to start planning from square one again.

Now we are to the point of "either we are getting out or we are staying in if i make chief or if i get picked up for this other job" and "if we do end up getting out maybe we should live here....no no...we are moving back home". Before Christmas came, I was planning on us re-enlisting, i was planning on us buying a house here....We were finally going to get our very own house...finally going to put down some roots....It's just frustrating....I don't know where we will be or what we will be doing in six months....it's unnerving, and actually quite frightening! How do I get through the days not thinking about this anymore? How much longer is this going to go on?
Tired...